Dealing with disappointment

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Chapter 9 – The forgiving prince

Activities

1. “Lollipop man riddles”
I am stretching the theme here a bit but my kids have had such good fun working out the riddles from the lollipop man every day this week I thought I would share them with you. I did say to them (after googling it myself) that the difference between riddles and jokes is that a riddle helps you find things and jokes are meant to be funny. In life God wants us to search for the truth and ultimately to find Him. It says in Philippians 2:12b-13
“work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. <

While we are unable to work out the course of our lives we can find, know and trust God through Jesus who said “I am the way, the truth and the life”(John 14:6)

* What starts with T, ends with T and has T in it?
* what gets wetter the more you dry?
* what do you break before you use?
* What gets whiter the more it gets dirty?
* What belongs to you but other people use it more than you?

(Answers: Teapot, towel, egg, blackboard, your name)

2. Chocolate chip cookies tasting experiment

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Recipe

Ingredients
1 egg
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup butter or margarine
1 1/2 cup plain flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup chocolate chip cookies

Method
Mix egg, sugar and butter together
Add in flour, baking powder and salt.
Mix into a dough then add chocolate chips
Make 12 round balks and flatten on a baking tray.
Cook in medium oven, gas 5 for 12 minutes.

I put the ingredients in separate bowls, lined them up and asked the kids to taste each one separately. They were all very keen until they tasted the flour and baking powder. The experiment didn’t quite go to plan as one of them ran out of the room in tears as the flour tasted so horrible. After a considerable amount of “tasting” chocolate chips I made the point that God can use all of our circumstances, good and bad and make something good. I reminded them of what Joseph said to his brothers “what you intended for evil, God intended for good”. While we may not always understand why something is happening, we can trust in God who loves us and always works things out for our good and His glory.

(Idea from http://www.hiphomeschoolmoms.com/2013/03/lets-teach/)

3. Emotional bag carry
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We used one of the kids school bags and got some tins from the kitchen cupboard and I asked them to think of times when they had been hurt by someone and had struggled to forgive. For each example we put a tin in the bag. When we had a reasonably heavy bag I asked them to (very carefully) take a walk up and down the stairs. I helped Esther up and down the stairs and pointed out that as much as it is good to help each other in life it is really only with Jesus help that that we can forgive.

When they came back I told them the story of Corrie Ten Boom, a Christian woman who survived a Nazi concentration camp during the Holocaust, who said, “Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you.”. We then emptied the bag and the delight was apparent as Jacob ran up and down the stairs, free from his burden! In fact when I did the activity with the older boys they pointed out that they didn’t even need to even carry the bag!

When we hold onto our unforgiveness it’s like walking about carrying a big heavy bag -exhausting work as they discovered. However, when we remember what Jesus did for us on the cross it helps us to forgive others. We can then become free from the emotional baggage that weighs us down.

(Based on idea from http://www.momentsaday.com/100-kids-activities-to-build-character/)

4. Arts and crafts

The kids decorated some stones to help us remember how much God loves us. Here are some of the masterpieces.
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Thoughts

We are all proud of our children’s achievements, from the first steps to writing their names (even if it is on the wallpaper!) and the list goes on. But how do we help them deal with disappointment?

As a basketball obsessed family, my boys and hubby play and watch the game – alot! During an NBA match the other day my husband pointed out that a number of the really good players had experienced great adversity in their life and this was a driving force pushing them to succeed.

Although as a family we haven’t experienced great adversity, we have like everyone had to deal with disappointment. Recently our eldest son managed to get into the under 12 basketball team as a reserve and while this is a great achievement there was disappointment that he was not on the main team. During this time I have been challenged and encouraged by our sons character, maturity, wisdom and tenacity.

As much as we would like to orchestrate the path our children will walk in their lives, that is of course impossible. When we try to control parts of their lives we can become overwhelmed with worry, anxiety and fear. Their future, like ours is in the hands of our Heavenly Father. We can rest in that knowledge and believe in the promise Paul spoke of in Romans 8:28;
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

In a world of pain suffering and sin we can be swamped by fear or overwhelmed by the hurt of others or ourselves. One reaction to this is to become cynical, bitter or angry. So how then did Joseph, the precocious spoilt 17 year old overcome his terrible circumstances and become a man of wisdom, integrity and influence who forgave his brothers saying in Genesis 50:20;
“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.”

In chapter 39 of Genesis it says three times that “The Lord was with Joseph”. Throughout the Bible there is a constant theme of Gods faithfulness to His people. In Matthew 28:20 after Jesus set out the great commission for His followers to make disciples, He promised;
And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

The majority of us will not have experienced slavery, false accusations or imprisonment. However, we may experience times of injustice, fear, temptation and pride. Joseph chose to believe and trust that God was with him. But just as important he chose to act on that belief and lived a life that pleased God.

Romans 8:37-39 says;
“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

One of the key words in this great text is the word “in”. God works in and through any circumstances in our lives. He doesn’t wait until we have overcome a problem, God works out His purpose IN the midst of them through changing our character to become more like Jesus.

In an article by Christina Fox about “Hope for the despairing heart”*. She said;
“We also have the promise that Jesus will finish what he started in us. He will not leave us unchanged. He will use every pain, every sorrow, and every tear in our lives for our good and his glory. We are not on our own in this, he promises to be our strength in weakness and will give us everything we need to live for him.”

*(http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/hope-for-the-despairing-heart)

4 thoughts on “Dealing with disappointment

    • Thanks Chelsea, the kids all loved doing the activity. The older boys did it as well and it was a really helpful way for them to talk about hurts they had at school or with each other and to know they don’t have to hold on to them but give them to Jesus.xx

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  1. Hi Davina, I love what you’re doing with your story sacks. They’re great. I’m sure they really enjoy the activities. Do the find that they all ‘get’ the message, despite the age differences? Irene x

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    • Hi Irene, yes it’s a bit tricky with the different ages and Stephen is often not there as he has a few sports clubs he attends. I also don’t always do it with all children together. So for example I did the stones in a bag activity with Jacob and Esther (5 and 3years) when older boys were out and then did it again with the Stephen and James (11 and 8yrs). Esther is really too young to grasp most of the concepts but I think it’s good for her to get into a habit of “doing devotions” as we call them. Even though Stephen misses some of the talks I was pleasantly surprised when he said recently I should do bible class on Sundays more like the devotions we do at home as they were more fun and easy to listen to.

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